when life gives you clementines
Lets just say- purely hypothetically- there was a global pandemic. Hilarious, I know. Then, let’s say that you are a parent to a picky child. It is possible that he is the MOST picky child in the whole world. He will eat some different foods, but his diet is pretty basic, which makes him predictable, and easy to shop for, but very stressful if you happen to run out of one of the foods on the acceptable list. Especially if it is a global pandemic.
But that was purely hypothetically, remember? So don’t even give it a second thought. Just go back to the calm and peaceful day you are having, getting things done and being happy.
Getting to the clementines. My child will eat 6 of them for lunch or a snack, or at any time of the day, until he doesn’t. Usually no big deal, I will finish the remaining three or four of them up on a salad or give them to the birds. But, sorry to say, it is a pandemic, and I have been buying in bulk, so I have a few three or four pounds of them. Pounds. What is the old adage? Plans of mice and men, and your child will love something, until you buy a shit ton of it. So. here we are. I have a shit ton of clementines.
There are thousands of things you can do with oranges, I think, I don’t really know, I imagine there are that many, I got bored of looking pretty quickly. I was going to make a clementine curd, but there is an egg shortage around here, so gotta keep it simple. After much deliberation and searching through all of my cookbooks, I settled on jelly. It is simple enough and there is no need to eat all of the item in one go (clementine cream bars, clementine cakes) or to spend three days making it, like a marmalade. Jelly is easy and quite quick. Here is the only thing that makes it a bit of a bummer. It contains 7 cups of sugar. AHHHHHH! Sugar! NOOOOOO! Chill. It’s just sugar, we will all be fine. Don’t eat all 15 jars of it in a sitting and you will be fine. And also, never really eat 15 jars of anything at once, #prolifetip.
Let’s do this.
You are gonna need a couple things to make it:
Food processor or blender
strainer
big ol’ bowls
rubber spatula
large heavy bottom pan
And other things to can it:
water bath canner
timer
clean & sterilized jars
fresh lids
bands for canning, like Death Cab for Cutie, or The Decemberists, hmmmm, I feel like we all know I am talking about canning lid bands, but I am under the impression that I am hilarious.
more bowls
So many towels, like a preparing to give birth amount of towels
Canner funnel & ladle
Vinegar & paper towels
Seems simple- yes? It is, not to worry.
Give yourself a good amount of time to take care of this, it is a quick process, just don’t accidentally forget you needed to drive by a friends house for her daughters birthday parade, and have to run out of the house mid canning, weirdly specific, but totally not what happened this morning. I forget things. often.
Here is the recipe:
Clementine Jelly
3 pounds of clementines
7 cups of sugar
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 pouch of Certo ( they come in pairs, just use one please)
How to:
Get your stuff together to can- water bath bubbling, jars clean and hot, and lids in hot water- before you get going with the jelly
Peel the clementines, place the segments in a bowl, hold them up to a light first to make sure they don’t have seeds- you can do this in groups, doesn’t have to be individual. *Plop the peels in a separate bowl - I got plans for those babies*
Into the blender or food processor with all the segments and puree the crap out of them, like for 4 minutes, my blender was unimpressed, she is old and grumpy
Strain the puree, this was you get a pretty and slightly thick juice
Measure out the juice, you want 4 cups. I only got three and a half, you can add orange juice if you’d like or even water in a pinch
Mix the sugar and the juices (lemon & clementine) into the heavy bottom pot and heat on medium heat
Bring to a boil, stirring to keep it from burning or boiling over
Once it comes to a boil that you can’t stir down, add the certo and cook for 1 minute- set a timer- I use Alexa, she is very helpful for that- and time outs- she is great for time outs.
Off the heat when the timer goes off, clear the top layer of sediment, they are just not pretty
You have clementine jelly now, and quite a bit of it, so lets get canning
Put the clean hot jars on a towel on the counter, fill them up with the hot jelly, using the funnel and a ladle leaving 1/2” headspace
Once filled, wipe the rim of the jars with white vinegar on a paper towel, put on the canning lids and bands, finger tight
Process for 10 minutes (use a timer) Let rest in the pot for 5 minutes (use a timer)
Remove from canner, place on a towel and allow to rest unmoved for 24 hours. Check seals. If any did not seal put in the fridge Everybody else can be stored in a cool dark place for up to 18 months.
That is it! you did it! huzzah! Now you get to do the sticky dishes. but on the upside- you have sunshine in a jar to eat for a bit!
